I first started to blog about 3 years ago, when I was pregnant with my third. My thoughts kept me up at night and I needed a place to share them.
I enjoyed it. Like really, really enjoyed it. I put hours into my blog space trying to create the perfect environment. I spent so much time on Pinterest following other bloggers and being inspired by their perfect aesthetics and stories of making “6 figures a year” with their blogs. Because of that, I started to believe that if your blog wasn’t making you money, it wasn’t successful.
Like, if you weren’t seeing tens of thousand views then nobody was there. Comparison was a biiiiiitch to me.
This was also happening at a time in my life when I felt that I had to keep everything as private as possible to protect myself. That’s a story for another day, and I’m sure I’ll come back and link it for you, but eventually I decided that blogging wasn’t right for me.
I let so many fears and unrealistic expectations control my reality. I stopped doing something that I loved and genuinely enjoyed.
But I never stopped thinking about “what once was”. I thought of my blog as a baby of mine. I spent so much time with it and then it was just gone. There was some grief for sure.
After taking a break from blogging, I decided to try and start it back up last year.
But I was stuck. I was stuck because all of the “top bloggers” tell you you have to have a self hosted WordPress site to begin your success.
I don’t know why I was so fixated on that word, success. Anyways, I ran into trouble trying to figure out all these codes and backups and other computer nonsense that I ended up not being able to bring back any of my blog or posts.
Honestly I might could’ve called support and figured out what I was doing wrong, but I was living in a holiday inn express with my family of 5 after the biggest move of our lives (more on moving from my hometown to come). To say I was not in an ideal living or mental space is the least.
I was so frustrated that I said fuck it, I’m not doing this anymore. I gave up on myself quick. Too quick.
But I always say everything happens in perfect timing.
Every night after being “done” with my blog my thoughts after bedtime came back. I had so many stories to share after a full day of being a mom, life partner, entrepreneur, and adult healing my inner child.
I have so many opinions on topics that are being discussed. I’ve lived through different experiences that I was dying to talk about, but had no one to really share them with.
Sure I have friends, I have my partner, my kids. But let’s face it we’re busy adults. I rarely get to sit down and have a text conversation let alone a face to face with friends. And my other half just doesn’t understand some things from a mans point of view lol.
I missed having that small space of my own and watching a community of readers enjoy my content. I felt seen and heard. I felt like maybe I had touched just one person. Maybe I put a smile on their face or made them feel “less crazy” about a similar situation.
But, I’m a mom of three – soon to be four, I’m a homemaker, I run a few online businesses, and I barely made enough time for me as it was. So figuring out my blog and doing this thing for me, was last on my list let’s just say.
But that little voice inside never stopped telling me to get back blogging. I never stopped annoying myself and trying to remind myself, “hey your stuff matters too. Do something that makes you feel good. Make time for your purpose.”
My stories may never get read. They may never help another soul on the planet. I may be talking to myself the entire time but that doesn’t matter.
Because I’m doing this for me.
I’m taking the time to spark joy into my life.
For me, the definition of success has changed.
Success now means fulfilling that voice inside myself.
Success means getting out of my head and talking (writing) through the thoughts.
Success means writing on a free internet blog space and not worrying about the fancy extras.
Success means doing what makes me happy and always making time to bring myself peace or clarity.
Success means sharing my experiences and stories authentically in the hope of touching someone’s heart.
I will be successful as long as I am being real, raw, and honest with myself.
Hopefully along the way I’m able to inspire just one person. I hope to help someone navigate their way through adulthood, healing childhood trauma, motherhood, business, entrepreneurship, finances, and all the other things that come along with life.
We are not alone.
If you’re reading along with me and feel a little connected, follow me over on Instagram (@momminwithcoffee) and let’s get to know each other more.
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